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Years ago, late 1990s to early 2000s, I wrote a number of poems. Some silly, some funny, some serious, weather related, etc. I had deleted this site as there were few people looking at it. And I was worried someone would copy my work and claim it as thier own which happened to my other sites. I noticed this site was archived… so I am bringing it back. Somewhat. I may or may not write new poems.

Dec 16, 2015: And add a menu so you can read more of the poems. I orignially wrote just over a thousand of them. Some I saved as epub format. I’ll try and work on this site over the holidays.

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Categories General

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March, 2017

Mar 22 Added 4 poems and 2 stories.

December

Dec 16

Added 2 poems and a story.

December, 2015

Dec 16

Adding site navigation menus. Comments are closed.

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Categories FAQ, Poetry

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I’m not sure,
I want to spend Time,
and dimension,
sitting on my front porch,
I usually have problems when I do,
just reading the newspaper.

I don’t know what I’ll see,
or encounter,
when I look over the top of it,
usually something strange,
or unusual,
or both.

Space Vikings,
lost in route,
along with some guy,
odd-looking chap,
called ThunderBunny !

Tribbles, and small robots,
wandering around the front yard,
eating the flowers,
all night,
until just before dawn.

I just get the flowers,
from the variety store,
nothing special,
just called,
[ methinks… ]
the Twig-lit Zone.

I’ve had a bunch of folks,
wearing different colored shirts,
attack my lawn mower,
shouting something about how klingy it was,
which chased them all about,
it not liking pain.

A red t-shirt,
left shredded,
upon the lawn,
nothing else left,
nevermore.

I have had robots,
and syncophants,
ask me questions,
or make speeches,
in languages by the score,
but I don’t understand them,
they mostly go away,
except for the ones,
who want hair and skin samples,
from regions,
I don’t want them to explore !

Ya never can tell,
what will drop by,
when I sit out on the front porch,
and read my newspaper,
and the neighbors are beginning to talk,
something about a train rail.

Some have moved away,
at least,
I see them get themselves,
and their belongings,
into moving vans,
yet, and yet,
there are lights,
flickering around in those homes,
next door.

Police tell me,
there is no crime,
near my humble abode,
several robots,
check for legality,
then nothing is heard more.

I tells ya,
its enough to give me the jitters,
just thinking about sitting out there,
Slan to the left,
Slan to the right,
and Slan in the center,
running from the EtherBunnies,
their electric probes,
held high !

I’ll try one more time,
to read my newspaper,
and hope for no untoward instances,
to pester me while I read !

[ sizzle pop ! ]
[ goes the former newspaper, ]
[ to metallic dust ! ]

And there,
just outside my picket fence gate,
looming,
is a Bolo Mark MX !

“Jim ! You silly person !
That was not a newspaper,
but an interdimentional,
time-track,
backwards and forwards,
FTL matrix !
Go get your eyes checked !
You need new sun glasses !”

“Oh,” I said.

“The future was kinda bright,
at that.”

That explains it,
I guess I better get,
my steam-powered bicycle out,
from under my up on stilts home,
and travel over to the grocery store,
and get a real newspaper,
right now !

And the Bolo,
did vanish in the night,
shouting,
“You leave those interdimentional,
time-track,
backwards and forwards,
FTL matrixes alone !
Forever more !”

I agreed,
and it vanished quietly,
like a boojum,
in a tree.

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Categories Poetry, science fiction

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His costume was declared,
in three Western,
and one Eastern counties,
to be Very Loud,
and Bell-like,
but naught was done about it,
for the joy he did bring,
to the lives of young and old alike !

Flaming batons,
canteloping watermelons,
and bowling balls made of jello,
were some of the specialities of The Juggler !

Dancing about,
with a cat,
whilst upon a taaaallll unicycle,
was the middle of the act !

He had balloons,
and quarter notes,
from his flute,
that he kept tucked in his boot !

For his Finale,
He did dance upon a slack rope,
while juggling his audience’s former woes,
upon his fingers and toes !

Author
Categories Poetry, happy

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Kevin, in alt.callahans, posted this and its placed here with his
permission.

If the Shoe Fits
By Kevin Cheek
Copyright © 1998 by Kevin Cheek. All Rights Reserved.

NOTE: THE FOLLOWING IS A SPOOF. ANY RESEMBLANCE TO ACTUAL EVENTS,
OR PERSONS LIVING OR DEAD, IS ENTIRELY COINCIDENTAL.

Sorry, had to be said.

[Evening Newscast Music Plays]

[News Anchor]: “Good Evening. Our top story: Your shoes: Are they
Y2K compatible? With more on this story, here’s Don .”

[Cut to reporter standing on a busy sidewalk]

[Don]: “Thank’s Stan. As the millennium approaches, the issue of
Y2K looms ever larger on the horizon. And yet, some industries in
this country have yet to come to grips with this problem. Such is
the case with shoes.”

[Cut to video of people walking on the sidewalk, focusing on their shoes]

[Don]: “Shoes are worn by almost every American, and yet shoe
companies are not yet working to ensure that their shoes will work
past Midnight on December 31, 1999.”

[Cut to clip of a woman behind a desk]

[Spokesperson] “We just make shoes. Fancy shoes. Plain shoes.
Shoes that glow in the dark. Y2K just isn’t an issue.”

[Don]: “So say Psyche Spokesperson Penny Lothar, who openly admits
that her company is not looking into possible Y2K problems with
their shoes.”

[Spokesperson]: “These are shoes, not computers. I really don’t see
where there’s a problem.”

[Don]: “However, Shoes and Y2K expert Poul Etpetite disagrees.”

[Expert]:“The problem is that millions of Americans wear shoes, and
the industry has yet to address how Y2K will affect shoes.”

[Don]: “Poul, author of ‘The Barefoot Crises: The New Millennium and
Your Feet,’ tells of possible problems with Y2K and shoes.”

[Expert]:“When you think about it, we wear shoes. So hard shoes are
hardwear, and soft shoes are softwear, and yet few people have
picked up on this. It’s a boot-up issue, really.”

[Spokesperson, slightly annoyed]: “Look. We’re talking about shoes
here. Shoes. Shoes are not going to be affected by Y2K. Period.”

[Expert]:“I really hope Ms. Lothar is correct, but we don’t know.
Shoe companies here and abroad haven’t budgeted funds to see whether
Y2K will affect shoes or not.”

[Don]:“And that’s the situation, Stan. If Penny Lothar is right, we
don’t need to worry about our shoes. But if she is wrong, then
millions of Americans could face problems when the new millennium
rolls around.”

[News Anchor]:” Don: Is the position taken by Psyche typical among
shoe companies?”

[Don]: “Indeed it is. Every shoe company we spoke with denies that
Y2K will affect shoes.”

[News Anchor]: “Incredible.”

Copyright © 1998 by Kevin Cheek. All Rights Reserved

Author
Categories Poetry, Funny

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