Coin Operated Time Machine

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If you had one,
the Impossible Time Machine,
would you make it coin-operated,
to cut back on expenses ?

Would you remember,
to make it compatible,
with Roman and Greek coins ?

Or what of those civilizations,
that used large rocks,
not Rocs,
as money,
would your machine,
accept those as well ?

Or would you use only coins of your time and place ?

And find the tip you gave to the newsboy,
in 1928,
was your last coin,
available to you,
so you could go home ?

Would you be able to talk your way out of trouble,
in the Court of Louis XIV,
[ Thats 14th ]
if you handed him one thin dime,
and asked him for the time ?

Would the T. Rex,
chasing ya thru the Glen,
accept a coconut,
for your head,
instead ?

Or would it see you,
as an appetizer,
for that stegosaurus,
it had for lunch ?

Would the coin box,
be Tamperproof™,
would it strand you,
if you put in a coin,
it wasn’t designed to accept ?

Or would it presume,
you were a Roundhead,
trying to stop the King,
and toss you into,
the city run,
by Kubla Khan,
in your Birthday suit,
in the Deep Winter ?

Would he mistake you,
for a Mid-Winter Vision,
or a spy come to kill him,
even though you had no iron blade on ya ?

That should be a clue,
not to buy a coin box,
with a Royal Seal on it,
and the words,
‘To The Royal Court’,
on it somewhere…

Would you forget,
and give the King of Persia,
a Spartan coin ?
Probably a Bad Idea.

Would your relatives,
make the Talk Show Circuit,
and explain they had nothing to do,
with you bounding about in Time,
changing Reality,
Zither and Yon.

Or would you run out of money,
the meter said it was good for 2 time-hours,
you thought you were headed for Tahiti,
but it dumped you into last week,
at the height of hurricane season,
and you discover,
it doesn’t float very well.

Maybe we should just stay home,
after all,
and let somebody else make the journey,
because Time Travel,
can change things,
‘cause I’m starting to sound,
like Andy Rooney !

Categories Poetry, Funny


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